Xiego, Diabi, Xiabo?

Xabi Alonso employs an array of deceitful tactics to spare the feelings of friend Mikel Arteta. Both boys grew up on the same street of San Sebastian in Euskadi and now reside next to one another in Liverpool, England. While Xabi has been a fixture of the Spanish national team for years, Arteta has long been overlooked by manager Luis Aragones, even though he has been highly successful and currently is on the best form of his career.

Xabi went so far as to fake an injury that rules him out of the upcoming fixtures against Denmark in Group F qualification for Euro 2008 and Finland in a friendly. The hope was that his good friend would be seen as a replacement, just as Arteta was seen by Real Sociedad as a replacement for the deep-lying playmaker when he moved to Anfield in 2004. Little did they expect that Luis Aragones owes Quique Flores Sanchez a lot of money, for some pictures Flores has of Aragones in a compromising position with a black woman.

This isn’t the first time that Xabi Alonso has tried subterfuge regarding the Red Fury team and his amigo Arteta. He has often asked his brother Mikel, now at Bolton Wanderers, to wear a dark wig on game days and make himself seen by Arteta when the latter takes out the trash. He even went so far as to pay Brazilian Diego, from Werder Bremen, a handsome sum to shave and do the same, when his brother’s wig fell off and the scheme was discovered by Arteta.

Unfortunately the similarity to the Brazilian playmaker led Aragones to the same idea. And the Spanish gaffer has invited Diego to camp for the upcoming games. Since nobody on the Spanish team talks anyone else due to regional tensions, it is expected the Xiego plan will go off without a hitch.