Why Dida You Not Hurt Him?

Milan fans are outraged at the incident involving their Brazilian keeper Dida on Wednesday at Celtic Park. In a Champion’s League group match between the reigning European Champions and the Scottish giants, a supporter of the Bhoys ran onto the pitch during the celebration of Scott McDonald's game-winning goal and struck A.C. Milan’s stick-minder. Dida had to be stretched off and the fan was arrested and subsequently banned for life from the club. The Scottish champions await a ruling by UEFA on their penalty for poor stewarding.

What has angered Milan fans, apart from Dida’s play acting after the incident, is the fact that the Scottish fan completely missed the target. “For a second”, said fan Giovanni Emannuel, “I thought that Dida had been severely injured and I was very, very happy. Then I realize that Dida is just acting and I was very, very sad. Why the fan no take out Dida?” It is a sentiment that has resounded with the Rossoneri faithful, who loathe the mistake-prone keeper, who many blame for il Diavolo’s terrible start to the season. “I thought these Scottish fans were tough,” said Guiseppi Oddo, “but he hit Dida like a five-year old girl. Even a six-year old girl would have been enough for Dida. Pathetic!” One fan even invoked a curse on Celtic fans, only to be broken if Dida’s nose is also.

On the upside, Milan’s tenuous status in the world’s premier club competition, after such a shaky start, is bound to improve. UEFA, who are scared to death of Milan’s possible failure, will now do what Carlo Ancelotti’s side was unable to do and take the points from Celtic. And they won’t even need a dodgy penalty.