A Collective Effort

The hopes of fourth place have been replaced by the hope of survival, as Tottenham have officially entered the relegation race. The reason they are there is quite simply, the team is awful. From the board on down, almost everybody had contributed to the downfall.

While it’s easy to place the blame on one person, it’s really a collective effort. So, here is a rundown on the most visible parties of the organization and what should be done with them.

Paul Robinson
Fatty McFat Fat. Unable to handle crosses, set pieces, shots from distance. Parries anything he can get hold of in front of his net. He provides no security to the back line and no guidance. In a nut-shell, he is more useless than an appendix.

Decision: Drop him off at the nearest McDonald’s and hope he can’t find his way back to the Lane.

Radek Cerny
He’s looked serviceable when we have seen him, but he’s no #1.

Decision: Caretaker until January.

Pascal Chimbonda
Chimbonda has skill. The issue is that he only prefers to use it eight times a year, when he is facing off against one of the big four. With Spurs pathetic record against the big boys, this might seem a good thing, but it doesn’t compensate for the dreary and uninterested performances the other 30 days during the campaign.

Decision: Sell him, while you can make a profit.

Michael Dawson
Any defender who only prospers when attached to a stronger defender is actually quite worthless. Michael Dawson is a phenomenal player with King, but and average to less-than-average defender when King is oft injured. His positioning and confidence rely too heavily on the input of the captain. As the senior defender, he has brought little authority and confidence to the team. His height has led to little in the way of security on set pieces and even less as set piece options for Tottenham on the attack. In the long run, he is just an average hard-working player.

Decision: Dawson would be an exceptional backup, if he is willing to accept the role. Otherwise, off to the Championship.

Ledley King
People often speak of Berbatov as our one truly world-class player. King’s consistent injuries over the past two years have made them forget that King’s probably the most gifted player to put on a Spurs’ jersey since Gazza. (and yes that includes Jurgen and Ginola).

Decision: If he returns soon and can stay healthy, a gerbil could manage this team to the top half of the table.

Younes Kaboul
He’s young and learning the league, but damn if he doesn’t look like he will be one the league’s top defender in two or three years. His positioning is rather poor at the moment, but that can be taught. Throwing him into the fire might turn out to be helpful in the long term, but he does have faults at the moment and playing alongside Dawson won’t sort them out.

Decision: One for the future, but shaky at the moment. Might be a potential DM.

Anthony Gardner
Gardner’s an accident waiting to happen. He has been able to make if games without it costing the team, but he’s a Championship player.

Decision: If we could we would have sold him ages ago. So he is a squad player until his contract runs out.

Ricardo Rocha
The jury is still out. He isn’t adapting to the English game very well, and he seems average at best.

Decision: Not good enough. Sell him back to a Portuguese side since we can’t get rid of Gardner.

Young Pyo-Lee
He is a decent left back. Get’s forward well, but is way too reliant on his right foot, which opponents know. He’s fairly solid defensively, although he does have an occasional howler at the back.

Decision: It depends on Bale. If we leave him in the midfield, then Lee will continue to be a number one. If Bale becomes our LB, then Lee should be sold while he still has value.

Tom Huddlestone
Gifted with sublime passing and world-class vision, he is hampered by a lack of speed. He’s not one to get stuck in, which means he will never be able to be a pure defensive midfielder. But he has shown himself to be a competent player with loads of potential.

Decision: Is suited for a five man mid-field, especially if bookended by a strong DM and #10. I personally, think there might be a case for building such a system, but that will depend on the next manager. For now, keep him and play him, but don’t call him a DM.

Didier Zokora
On a rare occasion, he will have a good game. On a rare occasion, I can sleep with Jessica Alba. When he isn’t having a good game, he drags down the team like nobody else. Whoever pairs with him, ends up covering for his lack of positional clarity. He is neither a defensive mid, a holding mid, a box-to-box mid nor an attacking mid. He has no final pass and, to overuse a bad comparison, I will score with the aforementioned Alba before he does with Spurs. He is in short appalling. And he is the benchmark, from which all criticism of Damien Comolli is born. He was supposed to be better than Carrick and he isn’t better than Dean Marney. But all is not lost with him. He might be a decent right back, because he can make a decent run and he is capable of a tackle. I am serious.

Decision: Give him a new position.

Kevin-Prince Boateng
One game against the Cypriots and it was poor by all accounts. Still, it’s one game and with his brother becoming a revelation at Hamburg and K-Prince being more highly touted, it’s time to give him a starting position and let him get used to the league.

Decision: Should be starting NOW!

Teemu Tianio
He is a fierce competitor and decent squad player. He is often injured but he is Tottenham through and through.

Decision: Squad player. Not a starter.

Aaron Lennon
It is absolutely impossible to assess Aaron Lennon. He hasn’t been played in his natural position for an entire game in so long; one would think he’s a left-sided midfielder. He is being wasted by Jol.

Decision: Let’s try him on the right. He might do okay.

Gareth Bale
He is the only brightness in the gloom that surrounds this squad.

Decision: All that and a bag of chips. Leave him in the midfield.

Adel Taraabt
They won’t play him, even though he has been shown to be useful. Rather than play him on the left, Jol would rather play an unfit Tianio or out-of-position Lennon. It’s starting to look as if he is a pawn in the rift between Jol and Comolli.

Decision: Should be on the bench for every game as a late game option.

Jermaine Jenas
He is absolutely awesome against Derby. That’s it, and that’s a problem. He is always absent against good teams. He is a tireless runner, but he’s a poor fit for the team and we are all tired of his automatic, but underserved spot in the starting XI.

Decision: Time to sell him.

Steed Malbranque
He too is a tireless worker and does well against Derby. However, he can be a positive force in a game and has never been allowed to play his natural position.

Decision: Since K-Prince won’t be given the CM role like I am demanding, Steed needs to be played in Jenas’ place.

Dimitar Berbatov
Uninterested. And I understand. Everyone talks about the effect of four strikers on Defoe, but it’s been worse for Mitko. He is one of the best players in England and he is subbed every game. He is a man to build a team around, not a 60 minute player.

Decision: Either build the team around him or sell him. As a football fan, I would rather see him happy somewhere else, gracing the league with his elegance, than watch this club squander his potential.

Robbie Keane
What can you say about a man on such a pathetic team, whose only pitfall is his constant bitching to the referees? He is also willing to do whatever is asked of him and would make the perfect third striker.

Decision: Untouchable.

Darren Bent
He hasn’t been given a proper chance. He may well get it when Defoe and Berbatov leave.

Decision: He will be a good buy, just not a cost-effective one.

Jermain Defoe
He is the only player that is being properly deployed by Martin Jol as he is absolutely pot. Sure he scores occasionally. His ratio of goals to SOG is horrendous.

Decision: Why hasn’t he already been sold?

Martin Jol
First he lost the board; then he lost the smart supporters; then he lost the club house; now he has lost the other supporters. Can’t manage the players or tactics and this team is soft.

Decision: If he loves the team, the way he claims, he would walk away.

Chris Hughton
He is a legendary player, and a legendary poor coach. Hell, not one person can tell you what he does. Is accountable for the poor conditioning of the team, their lack of shape and provides no tactical input to Jol.

Decision: Needs to go.

Damien Comolli
Look at the team. He bought most of it. Judge him appropriately.

Decision: The biggest problem with the club. His poor judge of talent and undermining of Jol are the main source for this season’s implosion. Hopefully the fans will start demanding his head. Otherwise he will drag us down.

Daniel Levy
He botched the Juande Ramos situation, but he was right. He has put money into the team and truly cares about the team. He may eventually sell, but that does not conflict with making this team great.

Decision: Needs to give up on the Director of Football, but otherwise my respect for him, which dipped during the Ramos fiasco, is back to where it was.