Is Chester the Molester running towards or away from the ball. I know how Jim Rome would answer.
24. Oakland Stompers
This looks like a stool sample.
23. Dallas Tornado
This thing is garish with a "ga".
22. Atlanta Chiefs
Sure, it was genocide. Sure, we stole your land. But hey, we won’t mock your culture. Now have some fire water.
21. Memphis Rogues
A rogue elephant is a wild and vicious animal that is separated from the herd and known to rape rhinoceroses. It is truly the redneck of pachyderms.
20. Miami Toros
I don’t know why this makes me think of another 70’s Spanish speaking icon named Charro. Coochie-coochie!
19. Detroit Express
I loved Speed Buggy, too. It was Roger-Dodger! All the thrills of Scooby Doo, but Fred is a white Indian, Shaggy’s not a smack addict and Daphne isn’t saddled with a know-it-all cock-block, who says “Jinkies!”.
18. Minnesota Kicks
I unpacked "hideous" first.
Reached in and found the word "worst".
Then I picked "sappy" and
Next I picked "crappy" and
Then I was ready to tell them my tale.
‘Cause I'd unpacked my adjectives.
17. San Diego Sockers
VP: Hey we need a model for our logo.
CEO: My cousin Joe could use the work.
VP: Is he the ginger with fankles?
CEO: You're fired.
16. Houston Hurricane
I don't know whether to be shocked or impressed. Kokopelli is blowing himself.
15. Philadelphia Fury
Which of the STD's makes your balls just feel like they are on fire? I've had so many it's hard to remember.
14. Tulsa Roughnecks
The failing oil economy of the southwest at that time, led to many such “rough necks” hanging out on street corners or public rest stops, waiting for curious married men. This was all pre-Craigslist, after all.
13. California Surf
Notice how the surf forms a “C”. That stands for crundle, which was the area that ached after I viewed this shitty logo.
12. Vancouver Whitecaps
It’s like they were in competition with the Surf for being the most potent craprodisiac ever.
11. Rochester Lancers
But the both lost. Next time Surf and ‘Caps, you should stick to colors from the vomit palette if you want to win.
10. Washington Diplomats
Come let's mix where Rockefellers
walk with sticks or um-ber-ellas
in their mitts
Puttin' on the Dips
9. Portland Timbers
Environmentalism didn’t kill the Northwest paper industry. It was the inefficient usage of Medievel Double Bit War Axes to chop down trees. Even Bugs knows that a saw is better better. Silly Wabbit.
8. Seattle Sounders
I have a sinking feeling that the designers couldn’t be bothered.
7. San Jose Earthquakes
Yea, natural disaster is fun. Lets all celebrate the mass catastrophe awaiting us.
6. Fort Lauderdale Strikers
Too bad they didn’t have any.
5. New England Tea Men
Tea Men? Really? Had to be that last time they mounted an Eleanor or touched a Beaver.
4. Chicago Sting
This is, quite literally, named after the Paul Newman movie. Frankenhooker, owner Lee Stern’s current favorite movie, wasn’t out yet. Damn shame.
3. Toronto Blizzard
The exaggerated Z’s in this little emblem are dead on. Put me right to sleep.
2. New York Cosmos
The ‘mo part is accurate. We’ll give it lots of swirls. Kick Football Goals!
1. Los Angeles Aztecs
Okay, gotta admit that this is actually really good. And if you’re trying to strike fear into an opponent, can’t beat invoking the image of a people that liked to drink them some blood and eat them a heart or two.
Special Thanks to Keith Reedy. This was for you Nuggets.
3 comments:
Who are you to judge people going on Craigslist....you have a "Wicked" reference. You Kick Football Goals!
Brilliant,this shows the americans should not play football even their badges are crap !
Does that help your abject failure in Euro2008? You're not even one of the top 16 teams in Europe. Ha Ha Ha Ha.
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