Liverpool's new forward Andriy Voronin has become the first person in England to show faith in Ukrainian legend Andriy Shevchenko. Voronin has ridiculed reports that his bat-shit insane faith stem from Shevchenko's almost Christ-like standing in the former Soviet republic or their current partnership upfront with the national side. Speaking with the Daily Express, he said Sheva "didn't perform as well as he was expected to last season, but he played in Italian football for seven seasons with AC Milan". He then added "maybe in six more he will prove his worth at Chelsea."
Like many he feels that Sheva's off the ball movement contributed to the eight extra goals in eight extra games scored by his front-line partner Didier Drogba. Drogba has confirmed this analysis by stating "yes, his movement taught me what not to do and how not to not score goals."
Voronin heaped additional praise upon Roman Abromovich's man crush when he said he remains one of the great strikers in Europe". However it was later learned that a translation error had occurred and rather than using the Ukrainian word for Europe, he had actually used the word meaning "his own house".
Many believe that Voronin is merely applying the same gamesmanship seen by Premiership managers Benitez, Ferguson, Wenger and Mourinho to the newly formed competition between himself and the ex-Milan hitman as they veer headlong into a confrontation with Serhiy Rebrov as the worst export ever. Voronin has a distinct advantage over his fellow countryman, as their combined English value equals £42 million; whereas, his transfer from Bayer Leverkusen can almost be viewed as a bargain at £0.
Earlier this year, Tottenham Hotspur tried to expunge the ghost of their overpriced flop by making Darren Bent their most expensive signing ever, officially erasing Rebrov's last hold on the North London club as a painful trivia answer. Expect Chelsea and Liverpool fans to curse the Black Sea nation as viciously as Spurs supporters in the upcoming season.
1 comment:
You will not speak ill of Sheva. I kill you and all your family.
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