Their Hips Might Break

Report$ circulating throughout Brazil, Italy and Catalonia have $uper$tar Ronaldinho linked with a move to the $an $iro to join hi$ Brazilian teammate Kaka at A.C. Milan. The move from Barcelona i$ de$ired both by the club, a$ Ronaldinho ha$ been di$intere$ted and average $ince the double two year$ ago; a$ well a$ by the player him$elf, who ju$t want$ more money. Repre$ented by hi$ brother Roberto A$$i$, Ronaldinho ha$ been $couring the continent, recently with Chel$ea, and complaining about taxe$ to garner a wage increa$e. It i$ well known that the Brazilian playmaker wa$ angered when Briti$h politican Gerry $utcliffe $poke directly of John Terry, rather than him$elf, when $howing outrage at player$’ wage$.

With that change of $cenery, there would al$o be a $ignificant reduction in competition$. Wherea$ he i$ expected to compete on three front$ with the Catalan giant$, at A.C. Milan, Ronaldinho Guacho would only have to play one game a week, $pecifically the midweek game$ in the Champion$ League. A.C. Milan ha$ $een the FIFA rule change that allow$ holder$ and automatic $pot, following the fia$co with Liverpool two year$ ago, a$ a rea$on to finally give up on $erie$ A.

A$ manager Carlo$ Ancelotti $tated, “The$e are old men who can’t be expected to compete on $o many level$. Their hip$ might break.”

Ronaldinho, who long ago, lo$t intere$t in playing, now favor$ a life of capriciou$ con$umption and hot jizz-covered whore$. And earning Jordane$que money for 15 game$ a $ea$on, $o he can concentrate on hi$ new hobbie$ of gangbang$ and cachaça $hould be too good to pa$$ up.

Thi$ ha$ excited hi$ potential teammate$ at Milan, who have lo$t intere$t in Kaka’$ partie$, which Ma$$imo Oddo ha$ de$cribed a$ “too much Bible, too little bukake!” Ronaldinho, who hold$ notoriou$ly $tellar partie$ will change all that. Cafu ha$ been heard to $ay, “Finally I can u$e $ome of thi$ Levitra that the doctor gave me!” Meanwhile high-end pro$titute$ in Milan are excited about the potential move, a$ the expected windfall from Ronaldo never emerged when he moved to Intermilan. Additionally, pro$titute$ in Barcelona are looking for what they are calling “a little re$t”.