The Silly Season (7/29)

Bolton have secured a season long loan for Swedish winger Christian Wilhelmsson. Part of the deal includes Wilhelmsson regrowing his infamous rattail, which manager Sammy Lee sees as the Rapunzellian key to being heard by his squad.

Robbie Fowler has left Liverpool for Cardiff City. If you see a lost Scouser in County Clwyd, you have been asked to call Steve McManaman as he took off on their prized steed, Soon 2B Glue.

West Brom have sold Paul McShane to Sunderland in £1.5 million deal. Earlier in the week Curtis Davies had given up the captaincy at the northwest club. This latest transfer is seen as an attempt by West Brom to keep him as skipper by selling all of their other players.

Freddie Ljungberg has left Arsenal for the short trip east to Upton Park. The Swedish captain has seen phenomenal success since joining the North London club from Halmstads in 1998; including two Premiership titles, and undefeated season, 3 F.A. Cups, a Charity Shield and the final of the Champion’s League. Freddy has set his sights on a new challenge, one that he has never experienced: a relegation dogfight.

Luke Young’s secret desire to leave Charlton Athletic came true this week when his former club agreed to a fee of £2.5 million with Middlesbrough. Upon being introduced by the club to the fans, Young did what Luke Young does best and handed in his transfer request.

Blackburn has landed Paraguayan international Roche Santa Cruz in a deal believed to be in the region of £3.4million. Santa Cruz was mistakenly delivered to a local Rugby club for his first practice, where he was subjected to hair-pulling, eye-gouging, hand-bagging and a finger up his ass. When asked about the mix-up, Santa Cruz lamented “I wondered why Mark Hughes would have such an easy practice.”