Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Crestfallen: League One Badge Table

24. Leyton Orient

The gay bestiality freak in me has long been searching for some hot dragon on dragon frot.

23. Northampton Town

Nothing captures the elegance of two dogs fighting over an old shoe outside a medieval turret better than a picture of two dogs fighting over and old shoe outside a medieval turret.

22. Doncaster

Vikings pillaged their town and raped their women, but who got the last laugh by putting Thor in a dress?

21. Cheltenham Town

Support your club and learn the ins and outs of a woman’s reproductive system. “Vagtastic” was Georgia O’Keefe’s reaction.

20. Millwall

Two lions fighting over nothing. How apropos is that?

19. Luton Town

Modifying the crest of the city is quite common for football clubs who seek to show town pride. Or this case, GAY pride with the addition of a zippy Easter bonnet.

18. Nottingham Forest

If Robin Hood was alive to see his beloved home become a giant over-zealous q-tip he would certainly puke in his mouth. He could, however, buy the crayon used to draw this is on Ebay.

17. Crewe Alexandra

In the Jungle, the might Jungle, the Lion Craps Tonight

16. Yeovil Town

The honor and tradition of this club can be summed up with a pair of Dorothy’s cowardly Lions showing their wangs to the Pope.

15. Bristol Rovers

I’ve been to Bristol, and having viewed the women there, I can understand why he would prefer to handle his own sword. Sometimes beer just ain’t enough.

14. Carlisle United

I’m no expert on British politics by any means, but it would seem a little unseemly to have two dragons dry-humping St. George’s Cross.

13. Bright and Hove Albion

In case you haven’t figured out what the bird on their crest is, they wrote it in big letters for your trip to the mall on the short bus. The bird's lackadaisical manner represents their ground fiasco.

12. Walsall

This is how you treat a goddamn bird. Line 'em up in the site and make a meal of it.

11. Huddersfield Town

Yorkie the terrier wonders that if he must be stranded atop a Cylon, why can't it be one of the sixes.

10. Tranmere Rovers

This one tells a story. Once in a forest there were two lions. One had a ninja star, guess which one is the king now bitch?

9. AFC Bournesmouth

Nothing captures England’s passion for tea as well as depicting Tonto getting tea-bagged on his forehead.

8. Southend United

Not that a prawn or three Arabian swords make that much sense, but they do get lost in the the filler that is three wavy lines. And did someone run out of green and red ink on the copy machine?

7. Gillingham

It’s like they didn’t even try. Wait, do I spy the team's nicknamed subtly masked as the mane of a horse? How totally awesome for 12 year-old girls everywhere.

6. Hartlepool United

Another nautical theme. This one is a ship’s wheel to represent how they will be steered into administration because nobody wants a shirt with this lame crest.

5. Oldham Athletic

I bet that little fellow can spell Tuesday. But can he spell his own name?

4. Swansea City

Hello, world, here's a song that we're singin', c'mon get copyright infringed


3. Port Vale


Pretzels and Milk! How refreshing.

2. Leeds United

Their badge is so simple and solid, one would almost mistake it for a Premier League badge.

1. Swindon Town

What can you say about a badge selected by the fans. And isn't this:

Worst to First.


Thanks to Keith Reedy for help.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

My favorite....
7. Gillingham
It’s like they didn’t even try. Wait, do I spy the team's nicknamed subtly masked as the mane of a horse? How totally awesome for 12 year-old girls everywhere.

Anonymous said...

Is that Swindon No.1, i like the cut of your jib.

Did you know that the crest badge is back this season. We had the big S when we got to the EPL.

We like the crest badge though, it has an ickle train on it.

Swindon spurs

Anonymous said...

There's not enough ickle trains in sports.

Do you think any of these teams can make the Super Bowl this year?

Anonymous said...

Well, you got the byline of your page correct - you are a douche bag.