Dear Magpie,
Sorry about the type II diabetes, but it is possible to eat foods that aren’t fried.
I just wanted to send you a thank you. Earlier in the season, we Yids were embarrassed that our beloved gaffer was unceremoniously fired by management. We did not call for his head and stuck by him throughout his three year tenure until the very end. Yes, it was sad that we were in a relegation position at the time of Jol’s dismissal, but we felt that things would sort themselves out. Management didn’t agree. But that didn’t stop you or any other fan from making fun of us.
But you made it up in spades when you called for the head of Big sam, within weeks of the start of the season and finally got your way this week, when your chairman booted a proven manager who had your team three places higher than it was last year. And your reasons changed more than often than the pattern of grease on your shirt: he’s not attacking enough; he’s spent too much money; he’s not won us silverware; he’s not Alan Shearer.
And to show you really cared, you immediately thought Jose Mourinho was going to take over your club. Thanks for keeping it “anything but real” and making our harrowing start of the season seem like we have our act together.
You always claim to be a bigger club than Tottenham, and I can say after this display that you truly are: Bigger idiots.
Sincerely,
Yiddo
P.S. Please accept this bottle of Coca Cola as a gift. It’s not good for your obesity, but you’re going to be seeing it a lot more in the near future.
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