Is this what happiness feels like? I'm not impressed.

For Spurs supporters, Saturday can not come soon enough. A stellar 10 days has seen them win two crucial league games against top six opponents. In addition they have booked their place in the semi-finals of the Carling Cup by ending Manchester City ’s phenomenal home record this season, in a 2-0 drubbing while playing a man short for 70 minutes. The pending return of their captain Ledley King is further good news for the North London club that has been mired in an epic failing on all levels this season.

The Christmas spirit that has been inflicted upon the Yid faithful has left them feeling uncomfortable. “Downright creepy” is how one fan described it. Sickened by the prospect of hope and embittered by having to enjoy their pints at the local, the Yid faithful has pinned its hopes of a return to the comforting feelings of self-loathing and dread on the visit to bitter rival Arsenal this weekend.

With Arsenal bucking pre-season prognostication to sit atop of the table with a flowing style of football, Spurs fans can count on the usual drubbing from the Woolwich Wanderers. A sound defeat will scrub the feelings of joy and happiness from the Lillywhites and let them get back to what they do best: hating Sol Campbell, that cunt.