Daniel Levy and the Spurs board are set to be rejected by another world-class manager. Jose Mourinho, who guided Chelsea to their first league title in 50 years, left the club last night after infighting between himself and owner Roman Abromivich had fractured their relationship too much to be salvaged.
The Tottenham Board is set to make and audacious move for the Portuguese manager, who is set to meet with Levy. Mourinho is unaware of this meeting as Levy will be posing as a Border and Immigration Agency official to check on the unemployed foreigner. As a backup, Paul Kemsley has arranged a second meeting with the Portugeezer, guised as an Animal Welfare Service visit to check up on Leya, his Yorkshire terrier.
The Special One is expected to reject the offer because he would rather win a World Cup than a Peace Cup. Both Levy and Kemsely are expected to be arraigned later for impersonating state officials.
Having watched Juande Ramos, Jurgen Klinsmann, Marcello Lippi and Fabio Capello reject advances from Spurs, like an AV geek asking out the entire cheerleading squad, the persistent Spurs' board remain determined. "It's like anal fisting," responded Levy, who was donning a wig for his impending gig, "sure 99 out of 100 women will say no and pepper spray you. But to find that one dirty whore, you have to ask them all."
When Mourinho rejects the North London Club, they are expected to pursue either Phil Scolari or Frank Rijkaard, who the manager is more likely to replace at either Portugal or Barcelona. Both men have changed their cell phone numbers in anticipation.
2 comments:
You very funny man. The last man who talk about me, was a Serbian. He not so funny any more.
P.S. I need job.
Hilarious.
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