1. Arsenal
Gunners everywhere are suddenly appalled at the treatment of
Does football make you sad Stevie? Or was it the grannycaust of lies? Or was it the miscarriage? You know what makes me sad, Stevie? A 21 year-old man parading around Bebo under than name “Dick Daddy”.
Rafa and Big Sam are bickering. These boys need to settle it fat guy style, with a sumo match.
Their current form is about as inspiring as punch to the crotch.
While Roman Abramovich wants to turn this club into the Harlem Globe Trotters, his conduct is more reminiscent of the Washington Generals.
6. West Ham
Oh and speaking of owners who hate success, Eggert Magnusson has been forced to step down as Chairman of the club as they sail into an improbable sixth place.
7. Everton
Drawing at home to Metalist Kharkiv, a hair band from the 80’s?
But at least they didn’t lose to a club named after Disney’s newest sensation: Larissa Tells All.
With Heskey injured, who will step up to miss all of their chances?
Sam Allardyce wants Michael Owen to get a hernia operation now so he will be fit by the time African Nation’s Cup duty takes away Obafemi Martins. Michael Owen wants to wait; presumably to take advantage of his impending debilitating injury in two weeks time.
11. Aston Villa
Villa, shame on you for hiding Gareth Barry from
Fast becoming the kings of the dreaded six pointers.
13. Middlesborough
After watching his performance last week, its surprising how telling anagrams can be: Tuncay Sanli=Can’t Lays In.
Criticism of Roy Keane's £6m purchase of Kenwyne Jones, who is unproven at Premier League level, proved premature when tore apart Championship side Reading.
Matthew Taylor has let it be known that he is ready to step up to the spot for Pompey in the future. Now, if he can only get a place on the team.
16. Fulham
The last time Lawrie Sanchez faced off with Sven Goran Eriksson, he came away with a famous 1-0 victory. This time Sven will not be burdened by shitty English players.
17. Tottenham
They couldn’t even keep a clean sheet against a Cypriot minnow.
Forget the 2nd season syndrome, this team need to concentrate on their 3rd tier defending.
Kenny Miller continues to show that he can score at every level. Mostly he has shown that he can score in the Championship, which he will have ample opportunity to do again next year.
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