The Try: New England Patriots 25 - Buffalo Bills 24

The Blame Game


Let's hope that the focus of Buffalo's effort in the MNF opener at Gillette isn't solely on Leodis McKelvin. After the Patriots had scored to widdle the lead down to 24-19 with 2:06 on the clock, Belichick decided to kick deep, rather than go for an on-side attempt. Buffalo, unable to take a chance, had to utilize their hands team on this kick-off to protect the possibility of a short kick. This left them with a poor blocking corp in front of Leodis. It was not in his interest to return the ball.

Yes, he made a mistake. Two in fact, but one was not returning the ball. The first was catching the damn thing. What's the point? Even with his rudimentary knowledge of physics, I have to believe the Greek King could traject that the ball was going out of the back of the End Zone.

That being said, you want player with fight and McKelvin took the ball in hopes of helping. I don't think at this point, he was wrong to return it once he caught it. He was right on the edge of the End Zone and with his eyes on the ball, I doubt he knew if he was definitely in position to kneel. He had to return it and he did a good job. His second mistake was that once knowing he was done, he should have dropped. Here he went from fighting spirit to friggin stupid. Because in his attempt to gain an additional yard, he lost the ball and gave the ball back to the Patriots right outside of the Red Zone with 2 minutes.

The Try

1. The two people we should be talking about for Buffalo are RB Fred Jackson and offensive coordinator Alex Van Pelt. The latter was given the Offensive Cooridinator job 10 days ago and found a functioning offense against a Superbowl favorite after the Bills's offense had failed to score in pre-season. The former carried the Bills offense with 15 carries for 57 yards and 5 catches for 80. He also scored. Perhaps MTV should give him a crappy show.
   
2. TE Benjamin Watson scored 2 TD's all of last season, yet 2 in 1:16 tonight. I am projecting him to score 498 at this rate.
   
3. Tom Brady's biggest contribution to this game might have been the (insert curse)ing Tom Brady rule. Early in the 2nd half, Vince Wilfork hit Trent Edwards below the waste. Edwards had been throwing the ball away and I thought the flag was for such, but Wilfork, who was mid-lunge when the ball was thrown hit the Bills' QB
   around that tally-wacker region and got called for roughing the passer. F'ing Tom Brady. Luckily the Bills didn't score and Brady brought the Pats back with two late touchdowns.
   
   But in all seriousness, the NFL is going to be a league of mime's withing 10 years, where flag football will look like Rugby compared to this supposed "hard" sport. They really need to quit fucking with the rules.
   

Holy *****!

Fcb trikot the musical
by goalbumbum

A Final Analysis of the Euros

or 16 Reason Why Real Football kicks Your Sport's ASS!

or 16 Reasons Why the Wankdorf wasn't just a stadium!

1. Sweden
   
   
   
2. Germany
   
   
   
3. Netherlands
   
   
   
4. Spain
   
   
   
5. Austria
   
   
   
6. Portugal
   
   
   
7. France
   
   
   
8. Switzerland
   
   
   
9. Turkey
   
   
   
10. Romania
    
    
    
11. Poland
    
    
    
12. Italy
    
    
    
13. Croatia
    
    
    
14. Russia
    
    
    
15. Czech Republic
    
    
    
16. Greece
    
    
    

The Set: Spain Campeones!

1. Someone here must feel vindicated by Lahm's performance. Oh yeah. ME!
   
2. Someone here must feel vindicated by Lehmann's performance too. But in a rather fairly called match, to hear der douche bag blame the ref for the loss is another moment of pure classlessness by that ass. I feel for Stuttgart fans.
   
3. It's funny, I don't have Xavi in my Tournament XI, but I completely agree with his being named the player of the tournament. He wasn't flashy like some the other attackers, but he controlled the game and tempo like the nice version of Riquelme that he is.
   
4. Did anyone else catch Platini trying to get in on the action when Spain lifted the trophy. What a glory hound. And a cock!
   
5. Congratulations to all the long-suffering Spanish fans. You truly deserved this as the best and most consistent team. And enjoy your partying. If champions are copied, I hope we begin to see an increase in the number of teams using technique and possession to break down defenses.
   
6. One month until the Liga Pokal. What the hell am I going to do until then?
   

Euro 2008 Team of the Tournament

Since the 4-2-3-1 seems to be the formation of the tournament, I am going to use it rather than the typical 4-4-2 to name my “best of”.

GK: Iker Casillas (ESP)
Casillas is a no-brainer, especially after his penalty heroics against Italy.

RB: Hamit Altintop (TUR)
The most under appreciated player at this tournament. Playing out of position, he proved capable defensively and was the main thrust of Turkey’s attack from the RB position.

CB: Doran Goian (ROM) and Emanuel Pogatetz (AUS)
- I’ve never had much time for Pogatetz, but he was a beast at this tournament; a leader in every sense and tenacious in defense. Austria only allowed three goals with what is considered the weakest side in the tournament. He was a big reason for their outstanding defensive record.
- Romania gave up no goals from open play in the Group of Death when he was on the pitch. Is it any wonder that the Netherlands scored when he was suspended.

LB: Danijel Praniic (CRO)
He was electrifying coming forward and solid defensively. Is it any wonder that Lyon have already swooped him up?

DM: Nigel de Jong (NED) and Marcos Senna (ESP)
- If you’re going to play a double pivot, you need one Gattuso like ball-winner. And nobody epitomized that dogged determination more than de Jong this tournament.
- Senna was outstanding anchoring for Spain. He may well be the player of the tournament.

AM: Bastian Schweinsteiger (GER), Wesley Sneijder (NED) and Andrei Arshavin (RUS)
- While people seem to think that Ballack carried the team, it was the Pig who returned to the team and drug them forward against Portugal and Turkey, despite being benched by Low early on.
- What can you say about Wesley Sneijder that hasn’t already been said? Just phenomenal!
- For two games, Arshavin was the greatest player on the planet. How much more could he have accomplished, had he not been suspended.

F: Nihat Kahveci (TUR)
It’s hard to pick Nihat over Villa, but Nihat was Turkey’s leader. And he was there any time they needed him.

The Set: Germany 3-2 Turkey

1. Nice Goal Philip. But guess what? At least one person here won’t soon forget the most dire performance by any individual at this tournament to date. Many will give you MOM for scoring a goal. But they will forget the 90 minutes of dire defending. You were responsible for both goals. And had Richards not hit the post early, you would have had a 3rd on your hands. You were crap, and the only reason people aren't giving you more grief is because Jansen was worse. You made Kazim Kazim Richards look like Cristiano Ronaldo, and even Championship defenders couldn’t do that. You’ve now been roasted by Prajnic, Garics and Kazim: which is as bad as it sounds. And you will cost Germany the title against Russia or Spain, who won’t be using wallbangers as substitutes.

   
   

2. There was a lot of talk about how Ballack would hoist this team on his shoulders. He must have dyed his hair white, because since he returned, Bastian Schweinsteiger has been dragging this team, kicking and screaming, to the final. Ballack gets the plaudits, but the pig does all the work

   
   

3. It's time for another rendition of my “Rene Adler is better than Superman" rant. Lehmann finally showed his true colors, especially in the first half with poor punches, being nutmegged on a slow dribble and being incapable of deciding to move off his line. He got away with it today.....but hey, why is he still alive? He made a promies.

   
   

4. Most underrated player in this tournament: Hamit Altintop. Playing out of position, he has defended well and been the catalyst for most of Turkey's attacking play.

   
   

5. Tactics 101: When you have all your subs and your opposition only has 3 and they still sub more than you, you’re doing something incredibly wrong. Players like Heiko Westermann, Kevin Kuranyi and Piotr Trochowski are filler with good seats. And they shouldn't be.

   
   

6. I was explaining the blackouts, the lost goals, and the subsequent return of the picture for the final goal to my wife, an uber-liberal German girl. Later I said it was amazing to see the Germans do that so late. She responded with or “Not See Germany, in your case”. Think about how thats sounds and you will see why I laughed so hard at the comment.

   
   

7. MOM: The hell with that! The Golden Ball should go to every player on that Turkish squad. They were fantastic. We thank you and we will sure as hell miss you.

   
   

Jens Urged Not to Renig on Promise

Jens Lehmann admittance that he would 'give his life' to reach the final of Euro 2008 has the entirety of England pulling for Germany.

Not typically enamored with the Germans, the thought of the former Arsenal goalkeeper and all around massive bag of douche offing himself has galvanized the English citizenry to the point that 99.99% of all English football fans are desperately pulling for Deutchland tomorrow.

Said Collin Smythe, who had been rooting for Russia due to their exciting play, "I would even go as far as to say that I would have no issue with another 34 year drought if it would mean that Jens might swallow some rat poison willingly!"

Scouser Anthony Lockwood, who was pulling for the Spaniards due to the obvious connections with his beloved Liverpool has stated, "A German win tomorrow would be even better than the 5-1 win."

Even Arsenal supporters are on the bandwagon. Singer Dido has already written a song dedicated to the anticipated passing of their former keeper called "It took you long enough, wanker!"

A poll at the BBC, with over 700,000 hits, has immolation as the suggested way Jens should carry out his promise if Germany does indeed beat the Turks in tomorrow's semi-final.