Monday, February 4, 2008
If It Ain't Fixed, Don't Break It
In a stunning defensive display last night, the New York Giants proved that the American system of playoffs is a worthless model that is killing the sport’s industry in the United States.
Behind stellar performances by Michael Strahan, Osi Umenyiora and Justin Tuck, who castrated the once dominant offensive of the New England Patriots, the New York Giants won the 42nd Super Bowl and denied the Patriots a perfect season. Since the Patriots did not win that coveted 19th game, their season is essentially worthless. Never to be remembered for their accomplishments during the grueling regular season, they will always be seen as the team that blew their chance at immortality. With the realization that there is not recognition for anything but the final winner, the season has now been proven to be nothing but a reason for bad father’s to avoid their family obligations and “tie one on”.
Whereas the world has taken on a system of sport that rewards the season’s results as the penultimate accomplishment, the United States has decided that the torture of 17 weeks of drab, dull and tedious sport that stops more often than fat guy on his first run after the new year, should be exclusive inclusion in what is essentially the Milk Cupo with better PR.
While as a Spurs supporter I may wish the following scenario to be true, what if Arsenal’s invincibles had only been given the best draw in cup after their remarkable season of 2003/4 and had lost to Middlesbrough in early June of that year. Well in America, Arsenal wouldn’t be called the invincibles (once again there is a part of this argument that fails for me) and wouldn’t even be much of a footnote in the history books. They would only be part of the back story of Boro’s improbable victory.
While the season is everything in real football, the United States (and to that extend Australia and Canada) see it a promotion tool for a grand final that will almost always leave you wondering why you wasted your time.
So dear typical American Sport Fan,
1) Fucking driving around a loop is not a goddamn sport.
2) You’re system isn’t flawed; it’s worthless when only the final result of the final game matters.
3) Understand this, Sevilla’s 3rd place finish in La Liga last year has more value than a perfect season in the NFL. That is a damning statement.
4) The next time one of you retards calls “soccer” boring, remember how the only highlight of your oddly named Super Bowl was a 32 yards pass, and that barely beat out a commercial starring a screaming squirrel.
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